Quotes by Woody Allen (US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 – ))
- “I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”
by Woody Allen - “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.”
by Woody Allen - “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
by Woody Allen - “On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .”
by Woody Allen - “The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”
by Woody Allen - “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
by Woody Allen - “Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.”
by Woody Allen - “I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”
by Woody Allen - “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
by Woody Allen - “It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.”
by Woody Allen - “I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”
by Woody Allen - “Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.”
by Woody Allen - “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
by Woody Allen - “Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.”
by Woody Allen - “It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
by Woody Allen - “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
by Woody Allen - “I failed to make the chess team because of my height.”
by Woody Allen - “I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.”
by Woody Allen - “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.”
by Woody Allen - “His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.”
by Woody Allen